Considering the book aisles that exist in order to prepare parents for proper parenting, one can definitely argue that there must be some major surprises. And, one of the problems that most parents face nowadays has something to do with their circle of friends, and the mere surprise that a lot of female and male parents experience is emotionally painful. Of course, those individuals who have kids expect their lives to change in different ways. Women and men who become parents totally know that their social life will surely change in a lot of ways once they already have kids.
The moment you have children, you know that you’ll be able to lose lots of social freedoms than what you had before having children. With parenting, there are 2 things that can potentially happen when it comes to friendships: first, you gain some new friends along the way, or you lose some friends you currently have. No matter what, exploring each change much further illustrates how these kinds of changes aren’t as easy as they sound.
Some parents are not prepared to lose certain existing friends. Instead, they expected to lose certain friendships, including those with adults who did not necessarily love kids or who would not be very interested in hanging out with their children. The surprise and difficulty arrive the moment you end up losing some friends that you thought would be your friends for life. In emotionally intimate and close friendships, you actually feel loved and aside from that, you have faith that this certain friend needs and values you. Because of that, you constantly tell yourself that you having kids does not change the real essence of who you really are, and that certain essence is what your own friends valued and loved so much.
The moment a very important friendship ends after you have had kids, the hurt is surely profound since the change will lead you to reflecting on a highly disturbing possibility. When you think of how existing friendships change, it is worth considering whether having children is actually the cause in explaining why friendships go away.
The Blessings of Having New Friends
While having kids changes some existing relationships with friends, the experience in parenting actually brings new ones too. The moment you have kids, more of your daily life is actually devoted to your little ones and their activities. Parents usually make friends with other parents too that leads to its own set of challenges. And, specifically, a lot of parents find new friends with parents of the friends of their children first. At first, the situation is ideal since all the parties that are involved get their own social needs met.